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Best Dad Jokes

The finest collection of groan-worthy dad jokes, rated by the internet.

  1. #1
    Why did the scarecrow win an award?Because he was outstanding in his field.84% Funny (100 votes)
  2. #2
    Why did the tomato turn red?Because it saw the salad dressing.84% Funny (89 votes)
  3. #3
    Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?In case he got a hole in one.82% Funny (89 votes)
  4. #4
    Why don't skeletons fight each other?They don't have the guts.93% Funny (67 votes)
  5. #5
    Why did the cookie go to the hospital?Because he felt crummy.83% Funny (65 votes)
  6. #6
    Why did the math book look sad?Because it had too many problems.75% Funny (69 votes)
  7. #7
    What do you call a bear with no teeth?A gummy bear.88% Funny (58 votes)
  8. #8
    Why are ghosts bad at lying?Because you can see right through them.73% Funny (70 votes)
  9. #9
    What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?A stick.80% Funny (45 votes)
  10. #10
    Why did the bicycle fall over?Because it was two tired.55% Funny (42 votes)
  11. #11
    What is the best way to carve?Whittle by whittle.65% Funny (17 votes)
  12. #12
    Where do bees go to the bathroom?The BP station.71% Funny (14 votes)
  13. #13
    Why did the tree go to the dentist?It needed a root canal.64% Funny (14 votes)
  14. #14
    It was raining cats and dogs the other day. I almost stepped in a poodle.58% Funny (12 votes)
  15. #15
    What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes?Sneakers!50% Funny (12 votes)
  16. #16
    A magician was driving down the street and then he turned into a driveway.27% Funny (15 votes)
  17. #17
    I don't always tell dad jokesBut when I do, he laughs100% Funny (4 votes)
  18. #18
    My girlfriend's father called me a pedophile just because she's 22 and I'm 36.Completely ruined our 10-year anniversary.100% Funny (3 votes)
  19. #19
    '90s kids won't get thisSocial security100% Funny (2 votes)
  20. #20
    My wife told me to go and get some pills that help with an erection...You should've seen her face when I tossed her some diet pills.100% Funny (2 votes)